Project 2 Revisions Turn-In
Submitted by rpweber on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 10:42.
in
Please attach your project 2 revisions in a comment below by July 25th (late revisions will not be accepted). Include a short description of the changes you made to your resume and cover letter.
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Revised Resume and Cover Letter
Attached are my revisions to my resume and cover letter for Project 2. I made several changes and will elaborate on them here.
FOR MY RESUME:
I changed the formatting for listing comments in areas where I describe things. I think it looks much more organized, and readers will be able to retain more of the information I listed and find it faster.
I removed "Leadership Training: Air Force ROTC" from my Education section because, upon examination, it has no purpose for the job I'm applying to. The reason I had it there was because, in previous internship resumes, I needed to show that I was NOT still in ROTC and brifely explain it. If I was still in ROTC, that would mean I'd be going straight into the Air Force, which means the employer would be much less likely to invest in me as an intern.
I also added and revised some of the comments under my Work Experience section. I think this section looks much better and is easier to follow.
I also removed one of my items in the Honors section. This honor (Academic Award) was a trivial award when compared to the content of the rest of the resume. It also left more room for better description and formatting in the Work Experience section.
I also eliminated the gap I originally had between my degree and my programming experience items under the Education section. This looks better for formatting and visual appeal.
FOR MY COVER LETTER:
I mostly edited the second paragraph because it had some information that was not needed. I replaced it with more detail on the project and tried to strategically highlight the amount of experience I gained.
The only other change I made was to change a small amount of wording in the third paragraph describing what I did with the drawing changes.
I thought the cover letter was pretty good in the other areas.
Project 2 Revisions
I have revised both my cover letter and resume. I'm sure the most noticeable change is the formatting of the resume. I think the problem was that I originally started the resume a couple years ago using a template on an outdated version of open office, then transferred to a more current version of open office, and then again to Microsoft office. Regardless, I now just went ahead and transferred everything to just a blank document and started from scratch. I completely changed the heading because this was the most troublesome in the old format. I still used the same bold font for my name, but I changed my contact information to a larger font as one of my reviews requested.
I also made some revisions to my cover letter. First off I changed the header to match the revised header of my resume. I also added a few transitions to improve the readability of the letter. I also added a little more to my point about excel, word, and PowerPoint experience as suggested in a review. And lastly I completely revised the opening sentence of the letter so that it does not seem that I found the job posting by accident any more.
Project 2 Revisions
Attached are my revisions for Project 2. In the T-letter, I changed my last sentence in my introduction to something stronger as to sell myself better. I also changed the date I was graduating, as I go a little happy and put the wrong year. Most other revisions include examples of my qualifications.
I also made revisions to my cover letter. I provided some examples to prove who I really am and showed that I was unique.
Finally, I edited my resume. I changed the formatting an moved the work experience to the top. I also changed my contact information at the top of the page as to not make it look so cluttered. Overall, I edited my resume so I wouldn't sell myself short. I made sure detail was not lost and could be found easier
Andrew Garland
Project 2 Revisions
Attached are my revisions of my T-letter, cover letter, and resume. Below are descriptions are some of the changes I had made on each.
T-letter:
Even though this document was not required to be revised, I did anyway because it gave me a better sense of changes in respect to the cover letter and resume. The major changes that were made were changing and aligning the requirements of the internship to the skills I have to offer.
Cover Letter:
In this document, I had changed some grammar errors, paragraph format ( to make the letter flow better and be easier to read), elaborate on my experiences, removed information that could be found in the resume, and mention how I will contribute to the company. I did not change the contact information format because I felt that it was appropriate and professional looking.
Resume:
This document had more format issues that I had addressed. On the first submission I had a major problem with lingering white space and hard to read lines. I feel that I fixed this problem to the best of my ability. Also I had added some description to some topics and listed "Work Experience" before "Professional Affiliations and Achievements" for relevance.
Overall, I have a much better sense of the effectiveness of the content organization, description, and relevancy of each of these professional documents.
Revisions - ctomazin
Cover Letter:
I edited the first paragraph and rewrote the second paragraph to give it more coherence and make it more directed towards the qualities desired in the position.
Resume:
I made minor formatting changes and added quantities to my U.S. Steel and Fraternity experience.
Resume, Cover Letter, and T-letter revisions
I made a few small revisions to my resume and T-letter. The changes to my resume were mainly to make it appear better and be more readable. I added some bullets to seperate different activities, and i spreaded out some text to make it appear more interesting, and remove some white space. The changes to my T-letter were minor, I just added my phone number and email address.
I made a few more significant changes to my cover letter. The first was that I changed the first paragraph to reflect why I was actually writing the letter, and where I had seen to job posting. My next paragraph I changed to make it not look so much like I was trying to use the company for a stepping stone. Before I had "would be a great place for me to start my career". Now I have "would be a great fit for me". I also changed the phrasing to make it flow into my next paragraph better, which describes my past work experience. In my final paragraph, my first revision had statements that basically duplicated my resume. Since they are reading the cover letter to get more information about me than my resume gives, I edited this paragraph to reflect my resume, but give a little bit more info about my acomplishments, and describe what my work will actually be used for.
The rest were just a few minor changes.
My Revisions
I have attached the final copy of my resume. I really liked your suggestions and am glad I followed them. I think my resume looks MUCH better now. I bolded the font in my name to make it stand out to the reader, and I enlarged the font of the body of my resume, so the reader can see everything more clearly without having to squint. I also mado some minor changes to the text of my resume, such as deleting uncessary or confusing words, and adding commas etc. Overall, I am very pleased with how it came out!
Employment Revisions
Attached are my changes to my T Letter, Resume, and Cover Letter. I made changes to the formatting mostly, Also I mainly focused on the white space with the three documents and equally distributed throughout the documents.
Revised T Letter, Cover Letter, and Resume
For my T Letter, I re-alligned my main section to make it easier to read. I also went into more detail in my "oral communication skills" and "written communication" skills section so that it wasn't so generic.
For my resume, I made formatting changes as well. I eliminated my language speaking skills because they aren't that great. I also tried to show how my skills personally were shown.
For my cover letter, I made it more specific than generic.