Nicole's Resume for Peer Editing
Submitted by NicoleV on Wed, 06/18/2008 - 20:58.
Attached is my resume for the Manager of Animal Production at Taconic. I would appreciate any suggestions and different viewpoints to make it better.
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Peer Editing
1. It says in your objective that you want to utilize your leadership but you never really touch on your leadership experience except in like one spot.
2. The layout is good kind of crowded though.
3. I think you could thin out some of the resume.
4. I think the resume is a little overwhelming when you look at it the first time.
5. Your typography is good.
6. Your information is very well laid out by the most important stuff being in towards the top.
7. Your content really supports your objective but I would play up some of your leadership roles a little more.
8. Your resume is a good length like I said earlier it could be a bit shorter.
9. Your information is in a really good order.
10. You did good making sure you had action verbs at each bullet.
11. I think you could use a little more professional terminology in your bullets.
12. When I look at your resume my eyes don't go anywhere specific just towards the top. I think its just a lot of information in a little space.
13. Overall the resume is really good and you have a lot of great work experience so I would try and make that the most important area to get someone to look.
Resume Peer Editing - 2
1. What can the writer do to make the resume better tailored to the specific job being applied for?
I think that you did a great job of tailoring your resume to the job you are applying for.
2. Is the layout and design pleasing to the eye?
I think that it is pleasing to the eye. Well done. The only suggestion I can make is I would put your email one line higher.
3. Does the resume fit comfortably in the page?
Yes the resume fits comfortable in the page
4. Is it easily readable? What improvements can be made?
I think that the resume is appealing to the eye but a little cluttered and hard to read fast in some sections.
5. Does it use typography appropriately and effectively?
Yes, very good use of typography.
6. Is the most important information located on the left side of the page and near the top whenever possible? Identify at least one part that could be better placed.
Yes all important information is to the left. It looks good.
7. Does the content of the resume support the objective? Explain.
Yes, the content does support the objective. You seem to have a lot of good experience that relates to the position that you are applying for.
8. Is the resume too short? Where can it elaborate? Job skills? Responsibilities? Education?
I don't think the resume is too short. I think that it is just about right. You seem to only have information that pertains to the job you are applying for. If I had to shorten anything, I would shorten your Activities and Honors section.
9. Is the material ordered in order of importance and relevance?
Yes, I think the material is ordered in order of importance and relevance.
10. Do Bulleted items begin with action verbs? Are list items ordered in terms of importance?
Yes, great use of action verbs. You did a nice job of using many different action verbs rather than using the same ones over and over.
11. Does the resume avoid generalities and focus on specific information and professional terminology?
Nice job of avoiding generalities.
12. Does the resume pass the Quadrant, Column, Squint, and Distance test? Explain how the author might make improvements based on your test results.
Nice job. You passed all of the tests. The only suggestion that I have is that you try to make the resume a little less cluttered. My eyes were not directed anywhere specific.
13. What other observations can you make about the resume?
Overall, it was a good resume. I would just try to make your resume a little less cluttered and move your email address up one line.
Ed's Critique
1. What can the writer do to make the resume better tailored to the specific job being applied for?
Your objective statement is all over the place. First, the phrase "To obtain the...position...that utilizes" is not constructed very clearly. Also, there are two verbs competing against each other: "To obtain," and then later "to coordinate." Would you say "I want to jump to leap"? Two verbs in the same statement damage clarity big time. Pick ONE verb and go with it.
2. Is the layout and design pleasing to the eye? Make at least one suggestion for improving it.
Yes, except for the activities and honors section, which I'll talk about in the following comment.
3. Does the resume fit comfortably within the page (as opposed to being squished in or stretched out)? What can the writer do to improve it?
The items in 'activities and honors' look squished together. Try this: Highlight the entire section. Then, right click the highlighted section. Then, select "paragraph." Then, find 'spacing' in the menu. Then increase the pt. where it says "Before" and "After:" Play around with these settings, and I think you'll be happy with the results.
4. Is it easily readable (no confusing fonts, clearly marked sections)? What improvements can be made?
Yes, your font choices and grouping strategies are VERY strong.
5. Does it use typography (including headers and bold and italics) appropriately and effectively?
You might consider using italics for some added contrast. Play with it. You might decide that you do NOT want italics, but I'd like you to try it before you decide against it.
6. Is the most important information located on the left side of the page and near the top whenever possible? Identify at least one part that could be better placed.
No. Your most relevant activity, the Zoological Society, is buried in the middle of the section.
7. Does the content of the resume support the objective (if there is one)? Explain.
Overwhelmingly yes. The resume is strongly unified in content and purpose.
8. Is the resume too short? Where can it elaborate? Job skills? Responsibilities? Education?
There are no problems with this issue.
9. Is material sequenced in order of importance and relevance?
Yes. Good work.
10. Do bulleted items begin with action verbs? Are list items ordered in terms of importance?
"Entered" could be replaced with a MUCH stronger action verb.
11. Does the resume avoid generalities and focus on specific information and professional terminology?
Your items are strongly specific.
12. Does the resume pass the Quadrant, Column, Squint, and Distance tests (See attached document below for help with these tests)? Explain how the author might make improvements based on your test results.
Quadrant: Yes
Column: Yes
Squint: Yes
Distance: Yes
13. What other observations can you make about the resume?
Major inconsistency: Sometimes you write out the month, as in "May," and sometimes you abbreviate, as in "Mar." You should pick one method and stay consistent.
As far as I'm concerned, your resume is one of the strongest in the class.