Webmail - Intro / Inbox Draft

Pretty much the first chunk. Just need to know if it's too long or detailed for just one section. Thanks!
Submitted by ALBradley on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 09:52. categories [ ]

The first part looks really

Submitted by LanaRyan on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 10:12.
The first part looks really good. I especially like the first paragraph, great intro!

edit

Submitted by cslarson on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 10:19.
good start, keep it going. track changes included.

Webmail

Submitted by dbartrom on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 10:19.
Good start! I like your intro too , it makes sets a good tone for the rest of the paper.

I unfortunately couldn't

Submitted by eawilson on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 10:57.

I unfortunately couldn't open your original, so I used someone else's edit and added my own comments. They are attached as a Word document.

You have a good start, but there are places where you use unnecessary phrases. Sentences could be condensed to allow for more clarity and conciseness.

More screenshots would be helpful.

My other comments are in the document. If you have any questions, please let me know.