English 421K, Technical Writing

1. The memo needs to concentrate more on creating a safety policy instead of the obligations that they are not upholding. There is also a lot of unnecessary information in the introduction. It is stated several times that the chemicals being handled are hazardous and combustion able. 2. The memo can be reorganized to state the creation of a new policy regarding the handling and storage of all chemicals. 3. The action item is the policy they want implemented and it doesn't appear in the memo until the last paragraph. It should be stated in the first paragraph and then all the supporting information should follow as necessary. 4. The entire second paragraph goes on to tell how critical the storage of specific chemicals and the reactions that can occur when placed near other chemicals. I would think that the laboratory supervisors would already know this information so there is no need to state the obvious. In general a lot of the information in here the supervisors should know, thus the memo should be more general and to the point. 5. The design could be more reader friendly by having shorter more general paragraphs. I think the purpose should come a lot closer to the beginning perhaps in the first or second sentence. Also, there is not a closing or conclusion stated at the end of the memo.