English 421K, Technical Writing

The subject should be stated in the heading of the memo. Instead of "Re:FYI", it could say something like "Subject: To inform about a mandatory meeting to create a chemical handling safety policy."

The previous meeting should be mentioned in the first line of the memo, setting up the background information. Then the action that was taken at the meeting should be discussed, and the reader should be informed of the future mandatory meeting and its purpose.

A lot of the memo is inconsequential. I didn't see the information about Illinois safety organizations as essential. No specific policies are explained, and Illinois is not requesting that any actions be taken on its account. Rather, the meat of the memo should be the accident history of the previous work year, the need to address the safe handling of all dangerous chemicals, and the plan to put it into action.

The conclusion of the memo should remind the reader about the mandatory meeting, with time and location. The reader should be told all that is expected of him/her at the meeting, and be given a name and contact information for any problems or questions that arise concerning it.