English 421K, Technical Writing

1. Information that is beyond what readers need to know include much of the second paragraph on what compounds can cause chemical reactions. Readers (Lab Supervisors are already aware of the reactions between the chemicals used in the labs. If they werent, they should not be in a supervisory position. Also, I feel that in the first paragraph, it was stated that the importance of chemical safety didnt need to be gone over, but it was then gone into detail about the troubles they have had in the past, which intimated the importance. The final piece of information that I felt didnt need to be included was the information at the end about what occurred at a previous meeting. The only information that should be needed is the objectives for the next meeting, an information pertaining to that.

2. The information about the meeting should be moved to the top and be first. The memo should start "We are calling a meeting . . ." This is really the main purpose of the memo and needs to be stated before readers get distracted and start skimming for important information only. Then they can go into what the current policy is, followed by the problems that exist with that policy.

3. The action item is asking for drafts of a chemical safety policy for their labs, and to attend the meeting with that. It should appear in the first paragraph within the first couple of sentences.

4. Memos are meant to be pretty short and to the point. Some of the information in this one could be included as an attachment, such as the current policy that exists for the company, so that readers could just be directed there. Also, a lot of the information is unnecessary and should be deleted to make it more concise. Anecdotes about previous problems should be held off for the meeting.

5. There could be a space put in between the Re: line and the beginning of the paper to separate the words some. Also, at the end there should be some form of contact information such as an email address of phone number if readers have any questions. Other than that, memos arent meant to be that exciting, so I would only suggest shortening it to one page.