English 421K, Technical Writing

The readers of this memo are going to be the employees. Therefore the full name and title of their VP does not need to be written out. Also, there is entirely too much repetition to what is being requested by this document. The writer restates that they need policies regarding their chemicals numerous times. This request should be made clear and written more boldly at the beginning of the memo.

This memo could be better organized if the purpose was stated at within the first sentence or two. Also the paragraphs are very cluttered and should be either tabbed and/or broken up into smaller ones to make the reading easier and more efficient.

The "action item" in this memo is stated as drafting a comprehensive policy that will be applicable throughout the corporation. This is stated in the very last sentence of the document and is also mentioned once or twice more in the paragraph above it. The appearance of this "action item" was one of the things that I felt was correct about this memo. It should be stated at the end to inform the readers of the purpose for their November meetings.

The design and style could use a little help on this memo as well. Tabbing the paragraphs would help this memo because the paragraphs are so long. However, it would be more efficient to break up the paragraphs more by getting rid of repetitive information and grammatical errors. If the design was more like the sample memo on page 496 in Technical Communication Today it would be much easier for the reader to digest the material and prepare for the upcoming meeting.