English 421K, Technical Writing

The content in this document is very informative and well organized. Each paragraph is subject based which I would consider appropriate for an intended audience of well read people. Regarding the document’s capacity to appeal to adolescent children, I feel there are many design flaws that prevent that from occurring. Firstly, what the document has in information it completely lacks in design. Because each paragraph is subject based, I feel that using bullets would be a more appropriate way to reduce word count and would guide a younger reader more readily for each section. I also feel as if the addition of color and clip art or pictures would greatly benefit the severity of the conditions mentioned in the document. These pictures would appeal to the children’s pathos by frightening them, making them more aware of the dangers cold weather hold. I also think that writing to the reader as opposed to making general descriptions will make the younger children relate more to what is being mentioned. Kids around those ages tend to be self involved. I would not even mention the wind section- I would possible include it as a general statement at the end as opposed to an entire section. I also would include the precautions to avoid frostbite early in each section so it is fresh in the young reader’s mind and would repeat them often. This would get rid of the closing section. I applied the strategies to the Frostbite section provided below:

Cold Weather Hazards

Frostbite

Frostbite happens when your body is out in the open in a cold place. When you are in the cold for too long unprotected your body actually begins to freeze! This is very dangerous, so it is very important to always wear a warm coat, hat, and gloves. Also, before you go outside, always check with your parents to make sure you will be safe and they know where you are. Frostbite happens in three stages:

1. First Degree (Frostnip) – You can no longer feel your fingers, toes, ear lobes, and the tip of your nose. They also become white in appearance.

2. Second Degree (Superficial Frostbite) – If out in the cold unprotected for even longer, your skin will start feeling hard and even begin to blister!

3. Third Degree (Deep Frostbite) – If out in the cold for even longer, your skin will become very hard and will turn blue. The worst part is, however, that the inside of your body in the frost bitten areas will become hard too! If this happens, you might have to have that part of your body amputated.

If you are outside and you feel any of the warning signs listed above, go inside or get to a warm place as quick as possible! When safe, slowly begin to warm the affected areas with warm water or warmer parts of your body. (Insert Frostbite Pictures)

Hypothermia

Hypothermia.......