English 421K, Technical Writing

Attached is a draft of my instruction manual.

Some questions that I'd like answered are:

1.) I provide a description and image to help clarify many topics. Are there areas that need an image or better descriptions? Do I need to use examples of my descriptions?

2.) Did you feel like the manual followed a proper logic in the format and presentation of information? Where could it use improvement? What can I change?

3.) The pawn is kind of a tricky unit to explain, how did you feel after reading that section? Anything I can improve on?

Contrast-Blue/Red colored pictures and yellow in the logo.
Repetition-Not very consistent with the size and bolding of text. Heading seem consistent and center aligned.
Alignment-Because of the several center aligned headings, makes it seem a little unorganized.
Proximity-There is some whitespace. More when tables are used and less in the text only pages.

Too much information is included. The reader doesn't need to know about past injuries and the author doesn't need to present it's version of a rough draft here. The main point is not addressed until the final paragraph. The last paragraph should be first but editing it so that the main point and purpose is in the first couple sentences. I think it would be easier to the readers if there was less description of a procedure and less examples.

The Whole Nine Yards

This phrase means complete, whole, or everything.

Wikipedia and The Phrase Finder clam the origin of the phrase is not known. There is a lot of speculation but no one has an documentary evidence. One common explanation dates back to WWII where "nine yards" was the length of an aircraft machine-gun ammunition belt and to use it up completely one had to "go the full nine yards". Although there are many explanation, some suggesting that it originated from the medieval or Victorian times,the earliest known citation of the phrase in print is from 1964.

I'd welcome any feedback on the format, content, and use of pictures. Ok so my draft is too large for attaching...so...I'm gonna try e-mailing them to you guys... e-mail sent, I suppose e-mail me back your responses and I'll send them to mark all at once.

Attached is the SSINFO Description Draft. I'd welcome any feedback on the organization and image usage.

If I revised this description of Frostbite and Hypothermia for young people, I'd bullet point any list or sequence. For example, the degrees of frostbite and the warning signs and untreated symptoms of hypothermia would be items that I would throw in bullet points. This also increases the amount of white space and makes room for pictures, something else that I could include along with a revision.

My Cover Letter is attached.

My resume is attached.

The target audiance for this revised document is the principals and costodians of the schools(who wanted to nuke the scorpians by spraying large amounts of pesticides). Lois and IPM seem to be against the idea of using pesticides on the scorpions and so that part of the original document should definitly be on the revised one. I'd place the "chemical controls" part first in the new document. I'd follow it with the rest of the "management options" and "detection and monitoring" then include the "avoiding scorpion stings" and "first-aid for scorpion stings" sections.