Group 2
Submitted by bluscomb on Tue, 07/22/2008 - 23:01.
Here's our 2nd draft for the service learning project, if you have any questions please let us know.
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Here's our 2nd draft for the service learning project, if you have any questions please let us know.
Group 2 Comment
Group 2,
Press Release
Divide the first sentence into two sentences (Lend a helping hand this holiday season. Join….) He said press releases should be a 6th grade reading level so I would try to condense lengthy sentences. I like that your second paragraph is immediately about the silent auction. This helps to bring it to attention. Are tickets $10 or $12? Jane put in her email $10-$12. Are both prices okay to put? I would put the special thanks t the sponsors at the end. Overall, very concise and to the point.
Flyer
Good job on putting a goal to raise for the auction. I didn’t think of that, but it emphasizes that you need people to open their wallets. I would put FREE for members of the Crisis Center & children under 5 (its just more attention grabbing to have free first). The list of auction items (Buccaneer…I think you forgot something after that). I wouldn’t have WAL-MART in all caps. I think Wal-Mart is sufficient. Good color scheme and balance. I like how you only incorporated various shades of blue to keep it colorful yet simple.
Poster
Wow. I’m impressed with the conciseness and directness of your poster. I had no initial comments when I first read through it and had to do a double take to see if there was anything to comment on. I would put the logos at the bottom of the page. Having the silent auction closer to the top of the page is more important than having the logos up there. Also I was wondering how costly you thought that pink background would be? If you think it would be a lot then I would make the color a more prominent one like the blue in the flyer just to have that extra touch on your poster. I think including the ticket price is something to think about. Overall, really good job!
Sheila (Group 1)
Reading Response Week 7
Sheila -
I agree with your comments for this group. I also felt that the press release was very well written and with a few minor adjustments would be good to go. I suggested that the emphasis in the first paragraph be put first on the Silent Auction with the Soup and Bread Concert second. For example they might want to have it read: "Lend a helping hand this holiday season. Join us at the 13th Annual Silent Auction and Soup and Bread Concert benefiting the Lafayette Crisis Center! The flyer I felt needed the most revision. As you noted under the list of auction items Bucanneer was missing something. I also think the Silent Auction was not emphasized enough on the flyer and more color would be good. The poster was good. Once again, I think changing it around to emphasize the Silent Auction would work better for the client.
Kevin
response
Sheila,
I agree a lot with what you said and even re-emphasized some of the corrections you suggested in my response regarding the press release. I really agree with you that the thanks to the sponsors in the wrong spot and should probably be moved to the end. As you mention, there were only minor mistakes or inconsistencies like the pricing that needed to be fixed.
Your analysis of their flyer is good as well. I do disagree with you on the coloring of it though. I feel they should have used more than one color in their scheme. The color does a good job of emphasizing what's important, but I think it could stand to be a little more colorful. Other than color, your other suggestion are right in line with how I feel about this group's flyer.
I felt the same way as you when I first looked at their poster, but upon looking over it again I found some things I would change. I brought up the logos on the poster like you did but I did not suggest moving them to the bottom. I only suggested resizing them to improve image quality. But now that I think of it moving them to the bottom would probably be the best thing to do. I also thought about the cost effectiveness of including a background, but I thought it looked good and did not really comment on it.
Response
Press Release
This very well written and I think that it stresses what the client wants very well. You make it obvious that the big event of the night is the silent auction and how that will help fund the Crisis Center. Your language, tone, and conciseness are all good and appropriate for a press release. It is also good that you included the contact info several times. The only thing that I can find that does not work for me is how you just randomly through a thanks to the sponsors in there. That should be somewhere else. Perhaps at the end? I just do not think it fits there.
Flyer
The flyer looks good and is easy to follow. Your color patterns emphasize what is important and that is good. It seems like most of the information is there and I cannot think of anything that you would need to add. The only thing I can come up with for the flyer is be more colorful. You only use one color. One of Tom's suggestions for our flyer last week was make it more colorful. Other than that I think it looks nice.
Poster
The poster is decent but there are a few things you might want to change up. The united way logo is way too big and looks weird. Its resolution is too small for the size you have it set to. There also isn't much on the poster information wise. It's visually pleasing and I understand that you do not want to make posters too wordy, but at the same time there is some key information missing on the poster that I feel should be there. Throw in the sponsors names or some of the prizes. Use the sponsoring restaurant's good reputations to draw people in. Other than that it is great and again I do like the background and the overall color scheme and layout.
Reading Reponse Week 7
Jimmy - I agree that this press release is well written and concise. I think the wording is very appealing to the reader. It gets all of the information out there and with a few minor adjustments would work well for the client. For the flyer I also suggested more color. I think this is the document this group needs to revise the most. The flyer and the poster need to emphasize the Silent Auction. The blue box on the flyer is hard to read. I printed the document and the lettering gets lost. A lighter color would work better. I suggested they might want to add the cost to the poster. Your comment about adding the restaurant and the entertainers is good.
Reading Response Week 7 (Group Reply)
Jimmy- I agree that the info about the sponsors is in a n odd spot. It’s really just a side note therefore should probably be put towards the bottom. I also like that the second thing that is mentioned is the silent auction. This is a great way to draw the attention to the auction. For the flyer I actually like the use of one color as oppsoed to have a lot of different colors. One color makes it easy for the reader to tell what is important. I thought it looked like they had multiple shades of blue though which could account for more color involvement. On the poster I like how concise it is but I also suggested adding some info. There is a fine line between having all the pertinent information and having all the information. They should add a few things to attract people more to the event, like the restaurants and the auction items, like you suggested.
response
Jimmy, I did not realize these little things until you pointed it out. Yes, I agree with you that the United Way logo is too big and the resolution is too small. If you still want to keep it this big, I suggest you go to Google and try to find one with a better resolution. I also agree that the flyer looks great. The only suggestion I could make is maybe to increase some spacing on the area above and below the box and also not to italicize the font on the sponsor, restaurant, entertainment, and auction items area. Yes, I agree that group 2 randomly thanked the two sponsors out of the blue.
Peer Review
Press Release
I think this is very well written. You are conveying all of the messages that the client needs to get out to the public. The first sentence should be split. “Lend a helping hand this holiday season! Join us at the 13th Annual Silent Auction and Soup and Bread Concert benefiting the Lafayette Crisis Center.” Put the Silent Auction first to emphasize it. Otherwise I think you have done a good job with the Press Release.
Flyer
The flyer is off to a good start. The client wants to emphasize the Silent Auction this year and I don’t think you have made this the focal point of the flyer. I would recommend moving the information about the Silent Auction to the top of the page and placing the Soup and Bread Concert logo second. I also think the blue box is too dark. I printed the page and the lettering gets lost in the dark blue and is not easily readable. Under Auction Items you stop with Buccaneer there is nothing after that to explain what that is. Finally, I think that since this has the possibility of being printed in color you should use more color.
Poster
I like the colors and the background on the poster. Is it possible to make the background go to the edges so there is no white space? As with the flyer, I think you might want to emphasize the Silent Auction. The client has specified that they want that to be the main event this year. It is concise and to the point. You might want to consider putting the ticket price on the poster. This is a great event for little cost.
Reading Response Week 7 (Group Reply)
Kevin- I also suggested splitting the first sentence. I like your mention of rearranging the word order so that the Silent Auction is first to emphasize it as the main event. I am a little confused as to the ticket price though which I think we should go over. I thought Jane put $10-$12 in the e-mail. Is this right? I didn’t think about what the flyer would look like printed. That’s a great point! Once you print things the coloring is never quite the same. Since this is the case they should work on the contrast within the auction box. I also noticed they left something out after Buccaneer. I completely agree about adding price onto the poster. They could definitely add other things as well but price is really important.
Response
Kevin,
I also thought the press release was well done. I did not even think about putting silent auction before soup and bread concert and that is probably a good idea for reasons you mentioned.
It was very smart of you to print the page to see how it looked. On my computer screen it looks fine but unless you have a high quality printer, and that may cost too much money for the client, the colors might be hard to distinguish from each other. I do not see too much of a problem with the soup and bread logo being at the top. I think as long as they make sure to highlight the auction, in a different color from the rest of the flyer, it's fine. I also thought the flyer could be more colorful.
I agree with what you say about the poster for the most part. It is concise and to the point, but I think it needs to have more information on it. The background was a good touch, but you are right in trying to reduce the white space.
response
Kevin, I really agree with you and Sheila of splitting the first sentence. That was the word arrangements that I had in mind also. You also made a good point of testing to print the flyer on black and white. Yes, the dark font color on a dark background will get lost and it will be hard to read. Using more color is also an excellent suggestion. Yes, I also agree that we like the background color of the poster, but still I think that putting a blocky white logo on a color background like that is not such a good idea. I still think that it would look better if you trimmed the edges of the logo using Adobe Photoshop. Ah, I did not even notice that there was no prices information on the poster. Good point, Kevin!
Crisis Center's Feedback
1. Groupposter2-1
a. Strengths – direct, focus on auction, different back ground, good information about the event
b. Weaknesses – no sponsors or donors
1. File labeled Crisiscenterflyer (blue box)
a. Strengths – uncluttered, brings focus to auction in a new way with donate
b. Weaknesses – plain, very similar to what we have now, may not be enough space for additional restaurants we need, the words helping hands is bigger font than those helping us
Press release
Here goes the comments:
Poster:
I like the poster, but I think I like your original design of poster better than this version. I don’t really like putting a blocky looking logo on a color background like your poster. I think if you want to do that, I would try to cut the edges of the logo using Photoshop to make it look smoother instead of blocky. I think you provided excellent information on the poster. Everything is so easy to read and locate. I wouldn’t put the Contact information inside a box like you do either. It just looks too blocky for me. I would maybe underline and change the color of the email address at the bottom. I would also bold the phone number so that it is more eye-catchy. Instead of putting the three logos of united Way, Crisis Center, and Indiana 211 in the middle, isn’t better to put them on the bottom of the page? Just a suggestion. Overall, good job on the poster!
Flyer:
I really like your flyer. I like the color combination. The only suggestion I have for this is to maybe increase the spacing a little bit. Especially in the area right before and after the blue box is. I also do not think that it is necessary to italicize the entertainment, auction items, restaurants and bakeries, and sponsors area. I think that it would just make it a little bit challenging to read for people with reading glasses. I would also hit enter after the ‘;’ on the sentence ‘lend a helping hand this holiday season;…’ I think that you could also move the United Way and Crisis Center logos to the middle instead of one in each corner.
Press Release:
Just like Sheila’s suggestion, try to divide the first sentences into two separate sentences and maybe put an exclamation point after ‘Lend a helping hand this holiday season!’ I thought the ticket price was also $12?? Might want to double check. Other than that, excellent job on everything, Group 2!!!