Reading Response Week 6
Submitted by smille421 on Thu, 07/17/2008 - 20:28.
Each one of my group members took on one draft and then all members helped to revise. My draft of the project was the press release. The press release focuses more on audience, variety, and conciseness and less on design. However, I tried to incorporate design into mine by using the soup and bread logo as the header. I thought this would not only grab readers’ attention but also make the document more appealing than a plain ‘ole press release. I really like using the logo. It makes the release stand out and look more professional. Audience was the most important thing when I was writing. I not only had to intrigue them to even read the document, I have to get them excited and interested enough to attend. I tried to emphasize what their support of this event can not only do for the Crisis Center but for themselves as well by talking about the food and entertainment. Of course a lot of the release was just information and that is where sentence variety came into play. In order to convey the important information I did the obvious, bolded the type. I also tried to make these sentences contain just the important clause and not drag on about anything else. I also tried to start sentences out in differing orders so the readers did not get bored and lose interest. Then there is conciseness. I’m not a pro at being concise, I’m a woman and I like to talk a lot, but I did my best. I knew if my sentences were really wordy my group would let me know. They seemed ok, with some minor revisions. My ultimate goal was to get the information out in an upbeat way to attract the public to be a part of this event.
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Reply
I think it is great that you tried to think of what the audience can gain by attending this event and not just the Lafayette Crisis Center. If you can convince the audience that they have a lot to gain from attending this event then you will persuade a lot more people to come. The use of bold type also seems promising because it is a great way to draw to audience’s attention directly to the important points. Since the date, time, and cost are some of the most important points you can put those in bold and the reader can know the important details in less than ten seconds of reading.
Reply to Sheila's reading response week 6
Hi Sheila –
I think you did a good job with the press release. I also like the logo on the release. Chapter 37 focuses on sentence structure, sentence length and variety among other topics. I think these are items that we need to review as a group and see if we need to make changes. I agree that for the press release audience is the most important aspect. People like to attend events where they get something as well as help a good cause. The press release has to give all of the information while at the same time be something someone wants to continue reading. I think you have done that.
Kevin
reading response
I agree with a lot of things you have said. I think effective writing is the key to success here in this project, especially when it comes to the press release. I think good openings and closings are where we can really shine and grab reader’s attention and I thought it was very creative of you to include the soup and bread logo at the top, and I think that adds a lot of subtle design element to your press release. I think the people that are reading our press release want minimal “glam” as possible when they’re reading these, and I know, it’s really tough to be strictly concise.
Response
I feel like I can relate to you fairly easily because I too volunteered to work on the press release as opposed to working on the artistic drafts of the project. I like how you said you incorporated the logo in the press release by adding it as a header. This way if someone sees either the poster or flyer one day, the next time they walk by and see the press release their memory will be jogged and they will be more likely to remember this event. Repetition is an important way to ensure a large crowd at an event.
response
Sheila you did a very good job on the first draft of the press release. I do see how took into account the audience's perspective and I believe a lot of what you say is very effective in interesting people to come to this. Your use of bold for emphasis purposes worked well and I think even though it is "the obvious", it works so keep it. There were a few things within your sentence structure that were a little awkward, but we talked about and fixed those at our group meeting. I think only minor adjustments will have to be made based on what Tom thinks and what our group reviewers think and I think your press release is on its way to being exactly what the client wants.
-Jimmy
response to Sheila
Sheila,
I like your press release. I think that your choice of words and sentences are interesting and they could be easily understood by anybody on a six grade level just like the golden rule of press releases. I also like the use of logo for the same reason that you mentioned in your post. In my opinion, most people are too lazy to read a long article that consist only text. By adding a picture on the article, it might make it look more interesting and therefore catch reader’s attention. The use of bolded text is really an attention grabber. I have to admit that sometimes when I don’t feel like reading the whole text, I would just scan through it and try to find the bolded text as they are often the only important information out of the whole text. Good work!