It’s been four years, and once again the big buzz for the year is this November’s Presidential election. It’s understandable, as who is President affects not only this country, but also the entire world. This year’s election is all about change; there is going to be a completely new president, possibly a new party running the country, and, for the first time ever, there is the possibility of there being the first ever minority president. Two of the leading candidate’s right now are a black male, and a woman, and both are from the same political party, and are very popular. At the recent primaries, both were coming out as the top two winners from their party as well as overall. However, I’m not going to talk about those two particular candidate’s qualifications or abilities to be President. I am however going to talk about what the impact of a minority President would have.
Strong opening paragraph, it
Strong opening paragraph, it really does a good job of presenting the issue and laying out what the paper will talk about. I'm not sure that you outlined your main points. You kind of just gave an overall main point. Maybe you could provide some more detail as to what your arguments are.
I agree, this is a strong
I agree, this is a strong opener. However, I am having trouble locating a thesis that sets forth an argument. You say there will be a change, and you state your topic, but what will you say about your topic? What impact WILL a minority president have? Shock us, then back it up!
Check: when to use an apostrophe (not on plurals, only on possessives) look at OWL for help with this.
And finally, I usually encourage students to avoid referring to their writing "I'm going to talk about.." because it's somewhat redundant. Instead of telling us about your paper, simply give the reader your paper! It makes your reader more involved
Overall, excellent start. You catch our attention and have a friendly, unthreatening tone. Good luck!