English 420, Business Writing

Subject: Improving Study Conditions on Campus

Dear Dean’s Office Committee,

My name is Tabitha Smith, and I am a senior in the school of Health Sciences. I have been frequenting the library since my freshman year, and I believe that a good place to study can make all the difference in your grades. Unfortunately, some campus study spaces have several drawbacks that compromise their helpful atmosphere. I have composed a short list of what I believe to be a few of the major problems, as well as some economically savvy solutions. I hope this helps you in your assignment to make studying on campus easier.
One of the foremost problems with campus libraries is their hours. Hours change depending on the season, holidays, and weekends. Just because it is a holiday and Purdue is on break, does not mean students don’t have homework assignments or papers due. Many professors even have exams on the day students return from break, which in that case, a student would need a space to study more than ever!
Also, weekend hours are limited, with the library usually closing at or before five o’clock p.m. Many students allot the weekends to do lengthy assignments, hold group meetings, or finish large projects. Thus, decreased library hours could hinder the productivity of many students. Opening the library on weekend nights would also give students an alternative to going out. By closing the library, students think they might as well go out because they don’t have a place to study. Although this isn’t necessarily true, students often rationalize with this logic.
Noise in the library can also reach very loud levels at certain peak hours. This may prevent students from quality studying if they are having trouble concentrating. In addition to designating both “Quite,” and “Conversation” areas, I believe offering earplugs to students could be an inexpensive and practical solution. As an earplug user myself, I can attest to the ease of their usage, and the remarkable difference they make in reducing the audible surrounding noise levels. The earplugs could be kept in a jar at the front desk for students who are interested.
I hope my suggestions can be of use to your Committee in reaching the goal of an improved study environment at Purdue.

Sincerely,
Tabitha Smith

Dear President of the Purdue University Student Government,

My name is Tabitha Smith, and I am a senior in the school of Health Sciences. I have been following your platform closely, and I am also passionate about making studying on campus a better experience for students. I know you are a very busy man, but I thought I would send you a few ideas I had for improving the current campus libraries. Perhaps, you could use them in your campaign.
Library hours are often too limited to accommodate the wide range of student needs, weekend hours in particular. Students often need weekend time to complete larger assignments and projects. By extending the library weekend hours, I believe students could better accomplish their class work, and would also have an alternative to going out on the weekends.
Elevated noise levels are also a subject of concern for those who frequent the libraries. It is often too loud for students to concentrate. I propose offering free earplugs at the front desk to students who are interested. These earplugs would reduce the audible noise in the environment and help students improve their focus.
Thank you very much for your time, and if you would like more details on my above ideas, please contact me.

Sincerely,
Tabitha Smith

I used the Thomson Handbook p 606 to construct the basic format for my e-mails. I paid special attention to making them formal, especially the e-mail to the President. I also made the e-mail to the president very concise and to the point, as the Primer article advised. I figured the President would be more likely to read and retain a short and to the point e-mail like the one above. I also included a subject line like the manual suggested, so the thread will be easier to follow if the e-mails are forwarded or replied to.