English106-01-03 Introductory Composition

In the beginning of the reading, i think the writer is trying to learn more about her ancestors by taking part in the archeological dig. She is foraging for everything that she thinks is important and collecting it to be taken back to the labs before the area is destroyed by the governments. At the labs she is eager to learn as much as she can about the artefacts collected by her.
For the rest of the reading she talks only about coping up to the reality. She talks about how her whole family, especially the writer and her mother, is trying to cope up with the soon-to-be loss of a family member(her mother). Now that the family has given up on medical treatment, they hoping against hope that using other alternatives might just help her even if there is a fraction of a percentage chance that she may live.

Terry is at an excavation in the Bear River Bay. She realizes that people who lived a thousand years ago were more adaptive and accepting of the changes with the Refuge. "They accommodated change where, so often, we are immobilized by it." (183) These changes relate to the changes that are happening in her life. She wants to be more accepting of the things happening and start facing her problems. She needs to get back to living her life, and get out the rut she's been stuck in since her mother's cancer. "In the West Desert of the Great Basin, I was not alone." (190) Even though the Refuge is declining, she still finds comfort being in nature anywhere.

Terry and her mother spend the day together and talk about the geese. "Wild geese are my favorite birds. They seem to know where they are from and where they are going."- Diane (192) Diane relates with the geese because she realizes where her life is going. She has accepted her cancer and has been going along with it for awhile now.

Brooke and Terry move into a new home and plant trees that were a gift from her parents. Terry remembers a conversation with her great-grandmother they had about faith. "Faith becomes a teacher in the absence of fact. The four trees we planted will grow in the absence of my mother. Faith holds their roots, the roots I can no longer see." (198) Terry realizes that even after her mother passes away, she will still have the 'roots' that Diane has instilled in her. She will 'no longer see' her mother, but have faith in the life lessons she has learned from her. Terry needs to have faith in the future and start seeing the positive things she has experienced.

Diane health has drastically declined and she can't even walk to answer the door. The Tempest family gathers for Christmas dinner to celebrate. Everyone in the family realizes that this will be the last Christmas together. Diane will probably die shortly in the book.

At the end of the last reading Terry explains that her refuge is her ability to love death. She needs to be able to understand how her mother's cancer isn't going to go away and she needs understands that her mother will eventually die because of the cancer. She will then be able to change(178). She talks about how the Fremont dealt with the raising Great Slat Lake waters. She says that they retreated when the levels got high and came back as the water level lowered. She describe how their society wasn't a fixed society unlike hers which is fixed(183). She could learn from these people, and allow herself to change how she deals with her life and her mother. She then wonders how the Fremont daughters dealt with burying their mothers, and she explains that these women were tied to birds(184). She is looking at these women to help herself with her own inevitable future dealing with her mother. She later finds a bird foot necklace, and she imagines these people as spiritual bird people that celebrate the marsh(187). This shows her being even more connected to these people and the land. Terry starts to see how her mother is losing so much weight and her mother is letting go. Terry says that she also is letting go(192). I see this as Terry seeing that the cancers is there and she is no longer focusing on the cancer but her mother. She can sense how her mother is feeling by her voice. Terry sees how her mother no longer believes that Monks are selfish people. Terry mentions how Thomas Merton said that "Silence is the strength of our life... If we fill our lives with silence, then we will live in hope"(193). I see that Terry believes because these Monks live with silence that they live with hope. Terry spends a lot of time with her mother; she takes her mother shopping for a dress and after that they went Christmas shopping. Terry and her mother agreed that they should do it on an annual bases(199). Terry has seem to forget that he mother is dying from the cancer, and when they go to the doctors office she is surprised when the doctor tells her of her mother's fate. They agree that they won't go back to the doctors office and this looks as if they are both coming to terms that she has little time left now. Terry and the family are looking back on stories that Diane played an important part in the story. Showing there favorite memories of her and how she has made the impact on them. At the end of the reading the family notices that Diane isn't eating and this hits hard on the family. They see that the end of Diane's fight might be over more quickly than anyone thought.

As Terry feels her mother’s soon ending she started having a fear of being alone. She is so close to her mother that she can not realize how it is possible to live without her. She saw a nightmare where her mom died; and awoke of the fear of being lonely. She says: “Usually we recognize a beginning. Endings are more difficult to detect.” Now it is the time to realize that her mom will pass away very soon. However, there is still blind and slender hope exists in her heart. In her conversation with the doctor she says “…but hope can be more powerful and deceptive than love”. She recollects her great-grandmother’s last words to her about having faith no matter what happens. Refuge should help her to deal with her grief. Terry finds the solitude and peace there. The connection between herself and the refuge makes her feel not alone and helps her to handle these difficulties that she encountered. As her mom is close to death, Terry refers more not to facts but to the “spirit” of the Refuge. She do not talk about rising level of the water, how government tries to solve the problem, but more about abstract things, about Fremont people’s lives thousands years ago, about petroglyph that she found on the rock. She talks about silence and how you understand things and gain a hope in silence. This is what she fins in Refuge.
Even though Diane accepted the cancer, she also does not want to die; and feels it unfair that she has to go through this illness again after 16 years. She suffered a lot, and now she has to do it again. Diane feels anger on her fate. Her family already has grieved openly and almost said goodbye to her.
So I am looking forward to see what happens next, even though it brings sad feelings about both women and entire family.

At the beginning of this reading Terry states,"No archaeological excavation has been conducted at this site until now" (170). I think when she is talking about the archaeological site as herself meaning, she has not done a thorough cleansing of herself until now. On page 178 she ends the chapter bysaying, " My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change." Now that she has been confronted with a difficult time in her life she is taking a step back and examining herself with the changes that are happening. This seems to also be reiderated on page 180 when she says, "I take a break and enter the cave to see what's going on."

She continues on to describe how Kevin Jones dumps sediment on trays for them to be screened for anything of importance (182). During this time she is possibly thinking that if she can "screen" her life, layer by layer, than she can fully come to terms with her mother's illness and possible death. I think she is slowly starting to truly believe that she is okay with everything that is going on in her life. "One night, a full moon watched over me like a mother," and she ends on page 190 by saying, "In the West Desert of the Great Basin, I was not alone." This shows her growth as a person who is in a very tough situation in a difficult time in her life. Maybe she is coming to understand that as long as the sky hasn't fallen she will still have a mother wherever she goes.