English106-01-03 Introductory Composition

“With mother I buried my innocence. With Mimi I will bury my haven.” This quote struck me as a very strong quote with heartfelt meaning. This simple, two sentence quote can reveal many different feelings and attitudes. Innocence can be defined as the lack of knowledge or understanding. This is what Terry lost when her mother died. She had never experienced the loss of someone she loved so dearly. She had the unfailing connection that can only be felt between a mother and a daughter. The death of her mother was the loss of innocence in never having dealt with death.

Throughout most of this novel, and the ups and downs in Diane’s health, Terry’s father has not shown much emotion. You have always known that he has cared, but not how the illness and expected death was affecting him. This is the first time you really see his true feelings are revealed. Terry describes him as extremely tense and unable to make decisions.

One thing that I found fairly interesting was the way Terry described the people of Fremont’s reaction to the rising and falling of the Great Salt Lake. She said that they retreat as the lake rises, and they come back as the lake falls. She also brings up the point that, “They accommodated change where, so often, we are immobilized by it.” I think this completely describes what she has done with her mother’s cancer. She has fled and come back along with the fluctuation of her condition.

I feel that the overall theme in this section was definitely death, and the different views people have on it. Some are scared of it, while others face it bravely knowing it is going to happen. Diane explains the story of how her dog died and she dug its grave up to try and see it one last time, but was not successful. She says that, “Maybe I have never been allowed to grieve. Maybe I have never allowed myself to grieve” (154). This could be connected to her not being able to accept or deal with the fact he has cancer in the past.

The curlew is a bird that is thought to predict future events. Williams constructs many different descriptions of these birds to portray her point. She says, "Its plaintive cry resounds like a warning." Whenever the curlew's cry is heard, people expect something bad to happen. She also compares its bill to a moon. The warning call could easily be linked with the moon representation because it is often thought that a full moon brings on the demons in the world. The fact that she is comparing these things may be to foreshadow a grim future.

The description of the situation Terry has with the swan is a very descriptive, but blunt explanation. The phrase, "It was a dead swan" (121) really stuck out at me in the description. In the previous pages there had been description about how the bird populations were decreasing. This leads the reader to wonder why this is happening. What is causing the birds to stay away or die?

It is quite obvious by now that there is a connection between her mother and all the birds she is describing. Their grace or problems they are having, somehow correlate with those her mother are experiencing. She talks about feeling guilty about her mother, and then immediately talks about the gulls and what she notices about them. It also seems like everytime something good or bad happens in the area, the reflection on her mother is the same. It rises and falls just the same, and tends to get worse as time goes on. The enviroment can have great impact on someone's well being and health.

At the very beginning of the writing, she talks about the birthing. She explains that there is a certain connection between the mother and the child in the womb, and when this connection is broken it is the first death of the child. I think this is a metaphor or foreshadowing the future. The second death would be when the mother physically dies. This is most likely what she is comparing it to, and showing in a roundabout way that this will happen in the future. She also talks about pulling tomatoes, and how some come more easily than others.

It has become fairly obvious already that Terry has had many hardships to deal with in her life. The most tragic event was her mother having cancer. A lot of times when someone has to go through a time that is really hard, they do not actually deal with their feelings at the time. They try to go on as normally as possible without revealing their true feelings. I think that is partly what she means by that quote. She is finally realizing her feelings, and trying to confront them by telling this story.