Seriously, yes, it's fun to think about the future, I think I live in the future a little too much though. All this future talk is making me an anxious/depressed mess right now!!! I really just need to survive through tonight and the next two weeks right now and the more I think about the future the harders these next few weeks seems. I have so much to study for, and so very little time to get all this work done. This english project, the chem final which is going to be painful, physics final not too worried about but I do need to study for that, and then the whole packing up my stuff to send it to a storage and whatnot, and cleaning up my room and dealing with my insane roommate. MY HEAD CAN NOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I need an invisibility cloak, and I need it now...I could use a bit of magic perhaps...

The future talk makes me nervous because the more I think about it, the more nervous I am about what I'm doing with my life and whether I'm actually cut out for what I'm doing and if it even matters whether I'm cut out for it or not if I love it? Do I love it? or have I just fallen in love with the idea of loving it? What if I only love it because I've wanted it all my life and maybe I'm delusional and I just think I love it? Well, does it really hurt that much to be delusional? What happens if I screw up somewhere along the way? Can I handle anything that comes my way? What if whoever I work for hates me and is out to get me and then I get fired? Will I get another job? Do I have the right kind of mind for engineering? I think I love problem sets, but how do I know? Maybe I've just been indoctrinated? In that case, is it really important whether I know that I want what I want? If I've been brainwashed to like something, maybe I do like it? What if I don't have the mindset for engineering problems? What if it goes away and I become entirely stupid and unable to solve problems? what happens then? Will I be trained in the next three years for engineering through all the problem sets? Will I be able to survive the next three years of engineering? What happens if I don't? What do I know how to do if I don't go into engineering? AAHHH!!!!! I'm going to be a bum!!! Would I make for a decent bum? Who knows? Do I really want to be a bum? Probably not, what's my fallback plan if the whole engineering thing doesn't work out? Will I like anything else just as much? Will I like something else more? How will I know? My entire plan of study is all required engineering courses and there isn't much space for electives...

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *screams out the window*