English 108: Advanced Composition
Content © 2008 by the individual author. Sponsored by Professional Writing at Purdue.
User login
Navigation
The Double Standard
I don't know how many of you read the Exponent, but I'm an avid reader of the opinion section. Lately, there's been a series of "letters to the editor" regarding chivalry and the City Bus system.
I don't think I've read a letter that I've liked yet. I dont even think I've seen a letter which isn't in the black or the white but somewhere in the gray.
Usually, I tend to have a polarized opinion. However, on the issue of feminism and chivalry, I'm in the middle.
I believe in chivalry. I think there are certain things a man should do (but doesn't have to) for a woman. One day, two guys showed complete examples of chivalry. One held the door open for me and the other gave up his seat on the bus when he saw that as a 5'1.5 tall girl I couldn't get a good grip on the over-head bars. I was very touched and it made my day. I don't think that a man giving me his seat made me feel inferior. It should that he had respect for a woman.
I believe that both gender play their own crucial roles in society. Are we completely equal? No. Physically we're not the same. Our hormones our different, our body structures, our thought processes.
We're all created equal... but may equal in different ways?
- amankus's blog
- Login to post comments
Comments
Keep Chivalry Alive
The line of chivalry is a fine line. I would have to say that these days I am very glad I am not a guy. It is really hard to know when to open the door and when not to. Some girls love it and some girls hate it. Yes, I am independent and I do not need a man to take care of me. I’m in college to have my own career and support myself, not to get my M.R.S. degree. However, when some guy opens door, picks up something I dropped or gives his seat up for me it completely makes my day. A guy doesn’t have to do these things for me, so when he chooses to do so it really means a lot to me. If he doesn’t know me it makes it that much better. I love when the ROTC boys are in uniform. They are then required to do these things for women and be gentleman. However, girls are taught to be skeptical. How do I know if I guy is just trying to be nice or whether he is just trying to hit on me? I always try to think the first.
I completely believe however that on a date a guy is required to do these things, especially if it is the first date. They need to make a good first impression. The guy should open the door, pay, and walk her to the door at the end of the night.
The Chivalry Issue
It makes my day when someone shows basic polite behaviors, whether a man or a woman. If there are people behind you, hold the door. If someone is in uniform, thank them for their service to your country. If someone is disabled, offer help in any way you can. If in line at the supermarket, and the person in back of you has two items while you have 20, let the person behind you go first. If someone is driving in a friendly manner and turns on their directional, let them in.
Now, I do get miffed if not shown these behaviors by other females, but more so if not by other males that I do not know personally. I don't expect these behaviors, but I have been spoiled. I hang out with a wonderful group of men who are extremely polite and observe modern day chivalrous practice not just with me, but with any female, granted she is not rude. But here's where I think chivalry should stop.
It's nice when one of the boys holds the door on occasion or suggests I enter an establishment first, but once I have a personal bond with a guy, I don't like being overloaded with chivalry. The occasional act is great, but I want to be treated like one of the guys when out with them. I even want to reciprocate "chivalrous" - I think the better term on a personal level is "polite" - behaviors back towards them. If I get overloaded with these polite behaviors with no chance to reciprocate, I feel like I am taking advantage of them and being unappreciative of their actions.
Now, in relationships, if he opens doors and pulls out chairs and such on dates, it gives him MAJOR bonus points. If he does it every day, I feel the same as I do with the rest of the guys. I also completely disagree with the notion of the man paying for everything. Unless it is a special date, like an anniversary, he does not pay for the whole meal. In fact, he only pays for everything if he insists. I will NOT let a man insist on paying for everything on a regular date. I am a huge fan of going dutch. If one of us is low on cash, the other will cover tab with the understanding that the poor party will reciprocate that action on the next date. There is no reason for me to drain someone I love's bank account using chivalry as an excuse. That's my reasoning. But then again, I have always gotten along better with guys, so I hear a lot more of their side on the issue.