I think that your group has a really great start to your paper. The executive summary gives a very readable and comprehensive overview of the paper. In addition, I think that you have your information organized in a way that makes sense. It seems that you chose to organize by topic. I think that is really great because it allows readers to move to a part of the paper they are most interested in easily. As far as improvements go, I think that you need to add some visual elements. Maybe you could add some tables or graphs to illustrate you statistics. I think this will help break up the paper and make it more interesting. Overall, I think the content of your paper is very appropiate, informative and presented well.

As a whole, your white paper impressed me by providing the useful information on how to make an appropriate choice between open source and proprietary software.

You have a good executive summary that effectively gives an outline of the whole paper. From the summary, I received the basic information what you are talking about in your white paper.

In the “Introduction” part, you introduce the open source technology as a form of software and address the question of “should they switch to open sourced software?” As a beginning of the paper, this organization is very good. If you could put some information about proprietary software in the “Introduction”, I think that would give readers a more complete vision, since your paper focuses on making a choice between open source and proprietary software.

In the body of your white paper, the organization of information is very clear. And the use of headlines can lead me read the main contents smoothly. However, I think the headers seem to be generic based on the article about how to effective white papers. If you might change them to be more effective descriptive headers, that would provide readers more direct guidance. In addition, how do you think about adding a general header before “Costs”, such as “the factors a company should consider before switching to open source technologies”. Similarly, you could add another general header before “Government” to summarize the parts of “Government” and “Business”.

At last, I think you have a good conclusion. You indicate readers to make an appropriate choice by themselves based on the information you mention.

I like the idea that switching to open source will depend on how many people in the community who will contribute to the open source software. Knowing how many people will contribute means you will also know how much you will spend on the cost of the open source compared to proprietary software. Knowing how many people will contribute could also mean knowing how many supports you will get out of the open source software. Large company means more people. When a company has more people, they will have more support on the open source software and they will also spend less money rather than using the proprietary software.
I also like your research regarding the governments who switch to open source software in order to boost their economies. I’d never thought that by converting to open source software will save a lot of money and also allow more flexibility to the company / government.
When I first read your topic for white paper, I thought it will be very hard to find sources on it, but you have the advantage of having one of the group members that have dealt with company that are using open source. You have at least one credible source for this paper and you could get more sources from this company since you have connection to the company. Your title is also interesting. I’ve never thought of this issue before reading your paper and this is good. It will attract audience to read your paper.
As for the information you provided, I think you could add some graphs / charts comparing how many companies / countries switch to open source and how many don’t. Using visualization makes your paper more live and will not put the reader to sleep.